How to Ignore the Media and Learn to Love Autism: A Parent's Guide to Acceptance
By Dana Commandatore
1) Read Jim Sinclair's "Don't Mourn for Us".
2) Tell your parents, family and friends that are close (maybe even your boss) for you are going to need support.
3) Let go of any preconceived ideas for birthday parties, trips to the supermarket and vacations. Don't worry, sometimes the unexpected is just as wonderful.
4) Discover what motivates your child and learn as much as you can about those topics.
5) Figure out the best way to communicate. Whether it is through speech, sign language, PECS, Facilitated Communication or touch, you will need to reduce everone's stress by coming up with a way to "talk" with your child.
6) Pay no attention to what complete strangers think of your parenting skills. If your child is screaming at the store, don't worry if others think that you are a bad parent. Try to figure out what caused the frustration.
7) You don't have to try anything and everything you find on the internet. The goal should be to understand your child not to eliminate autism.
8) Don't stop your child from doing something because you think it is weird. Some kids flap. Let them do it. It makes them happy and it isn't hurting anyone.
9) Build up their strengths as much as you work on their deficits. Some children are good at puzzles but can't tie their own shoes. Make time for both.
10) Reach out to some autistic adults. I can't think of a more insightful and helpful community.
11) Read Jim Sinclair's "Don't Mourn for Us" again and realize how thankful you are that you were given this precious gift.
This is superb...thank you. It is never too late to help. Even at 65 there are many times of distress and I just need understanding just like the statements above.
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Thanks so much!
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As an autistic adult who has spent two miserable days critiquing the LA Times series, I want to send you flowers.
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Thank you! No need to send flowers, chocolates, maybe.
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Hi Dana. Your message is GREAT! I am amazed that someone has created a website devoted to REFRAMING how a person with autism is perceived. Fantastic!
Your referral to Jim Sinclair's speech to the 1993 International Conference on Autism in Toronto has my endorsement, too. I have autism and would like to attend Autreat 2012 (Jim Sinclair is one of its founding members, as you know). Your suggested actions are a much-needed reminder to parents who are at a loss for what to do when they are confronted by the diagnosis that their child has autism. Especially welcome is the key point number 10. ASAN is a wonderful community of advocates, one of whom is on the President's National Council on Disability, Ari Ne'eman, the president of ASAN. I'd like to endorse the adult support group to which I belong, GRASP. The Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership is a small but growing organization that has chosen for its mission the task to improve the lives of adults and teens on the autism spectrum through community outreach, peer supports, education, and advocacy. Just this evening, our chapter, Southeastern IA, taped a 30-minute segment about our group in order to promote greater awareness in our community of the resource that GRASP can be. If you like, I can send notice to you when it has been posted to the PATV18 website, so that you can view it online. I am truly glad that you have begun to help people re-think autism. The "Support Group" video was not what I expected to see, before I clicked on it. It is, however, a way for parents & others to understand how certain behaviors/outbursts can be explained and how to act as an advocate for the child. Thank you for your works. Ron
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